Dealing with the Attack
by newportbeachbabe
Summary: Marissa's kind of POV not written in first person, but you can still read her thoughts on being around Ryan after the whole Trey fiasco. Chapter 4 up.
1. Waking Up

**Summary: Marissa's kind of POV (not in first person, but you can read her thoughts) dealing with Ryan after the whole Trey fiasco. Please review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with The O.C. or its characters or the words in italics (not the emphasized words, but the sentences in italics). I do, however, own the story.**

From the moment she woke up, she knew Monday was going to be hard. Monday was the day she would have to face Ryan. She had successfully avoided his calls all weekend, which had been pretty hard. Sometimes she forgot how persistent Ryan could be.

For a moment she was lost in thought, remembering the way he had first asked her out, the way he had jumped aboard the Ferris wheel (despite his fears), the way he wouldn't just leave her at Oliver's…on and on the memories flowed. Her alarm clock rang again and she stripped off the covers, dreading school.

Looking through her closet, she spotted the shirt she had worn _that night_ (as she had taken to calling it in her mind). She had yet to toss it in the laundry. Although, it wasn't like her mom did the laundry and would question it. It was more that she couldn't bring herself to touch it. Just taking it off had been hard enough. Every brush of the cotton against her skin had brought back the feeling of Trey pushed against her. Each fiber that made contact had the rush of the ocean. It had taken four showers to rinse the feeling of sand from her hands and five to get the smell of Trey from her hair.

Night was the worse. When she wasn't conscious, he attacked her even harder than he had _that night_. Sometimes Ryan was there to save her; sometimes he was egging Trey on. Not that Ryan would _ever_ do that. The worst part was that sometimes, Ryan was the one attacking her. Ryan would never do that, never. In her heart, she knew that Ryan was the exact opposite of Trey. In daylight, she knew it in her mind. At night, however, she couldn't keep them apart.

Shaking her head, she pulled herself out of the reverie. Randomly, she picked the closest shirt and pulled it over her head. Today wasn't a day when she would try to impress anyone. Today she wouldn't go to all the trouble to look good for Ryan. Some days she tried to make it so he would barely be able to keep his hands off her. Today, she would be fine if he didn't touch her at all.

Take that back. Well, not the part about not being touched. The part about not caring. If she went as a slob, she would draw too much attention to herself. Attention she didn't need. With a sigh, she pulled out her makeup and assessed the damage.

Forty-five minutes later, she was ready to deal with her hair. For the first time, she really looked at more than her face. Her eyes traveled down to her collarbone, where the red scratches were still imminent. She had hoped that by now they would have faded. No such luck; they seemed to be even brighter. Ryan would notice them right away…how to hide them, though? As she mentally pawned through her makeup bag, the phone rang. She automatically knew who it was.

_Marissa, don't hang up, okay?_

_Look, I told you to stop calling me._

For every time Ryan had called, Trey had called twice. There were similar on that aspect. But that's it. With one final sigh, she grabbed her bag and left for school.


	2. The First Conversation

**Summary: Kind of Marissa's POV on dealing with the whole Trey thing. Takes place during the locker scene.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing involved with The O.C. or the characters or the sentences in italics.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! This is my first fanfic that isn't a one-shot, so it is great to know that people want some more. I don't know how long I will keep this going—at least all through this episode and then I might branch off and become imaginative. Please review!**

From across the courtyard she spotted him. Simply dressed, as usual, in a brown collared shirt. A little different, a change from the wife beater. Although he did look nice in a wife beater. She had never seen Trey in a wife beater—another obvious difference.

Ryan turned to face her and she quickly hurried to her locker. The longer she went without contact, the better.

_Hey._

She jumped and Ryan fell into the lockers, laughing. Maybe he thought it was funny, but she sure didn't.

_Sorry. You okay?_

_Yeah, no. I guess I'm just not used to the hallway kiss yet._

Just last week she had been ready for the hallway…more than a kiss.

_Oh, sure of course._

He sounded so dejected, it almost broke her heart. It was then she really realized that it was not going to be easy.

_So tell me, how was Miami?_

As she talked, she fiddled with her shirt, making sure that the scratches were covered.

_It was…a lot like Orange County. How 'bout you? Anything crazy happen while I was gone?_

Nope…nothing crazy…I went shopping, got drunk, and your brother tried to rape me. Yeah right, like that was gonna fly with him.

_Nope, no. It was pretty much business as usual._

_So we still have a date. How's your weekend?_

His hand was on her back, supporting her. Trey's hand had only hurt her.

_Oh. Um…_

She had forgotten about their date. Their "whole weekend of nothing but this"—this being making out and cuddling.

_What, you uh, got something?_

_No, it's just, my mom wanted to go shopping._

Since when did she care about what her mom wanted to do? She had to turn it around.

_This weekend's great._

_Okay, great, so um…Well, let's do something special. Something you wanted to do?_

This was supposed to be like the first date they never really had. Ryan hadhad the best date ever planned and, once again, it had gotten ruined by her mom. That night though, had more than compensated for it.

_Um, no, nothing special._

That did not come out right.

_I mean, nothing in particular. It'll be special. So, uh, let's just talk about it later, okay?_

She kissed him on the cheek, per usual. As she walked away, she could tell he was confused and felt rejected. He had tried and failed, something Ryan couldn't stand doing. Trey owed her big time.


	3. Pillar of Strength

**Summary: Marissa's POV when she sees Trey at school from a distance.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C., its characters, or the sentences in italics. Too bad…if I did, Ryan and Marissa would always be together.**

**A/N: Again, thx for reviews. Please keep them coming! Norbert-theduck: thanks for the feedback about the dialogue. I am not sure how to change that so that it shows who is talking but that it is what they said in the show. Any suggestions? For now, they will stay the same. Sorry!**

When the bell rang, Marissa jumped out of her seat. She could not wait to get home and take a long bath and a sip of vodka.

As always, it was beautiful out. The sun was shining and she could detect the smell of the ocean. She turned the corner and was about to go down the stairs when she saw him. Just the sight of him caused her hair to stand on end.

What the heck was Trey doing here? At school. In broad daylight. Was he trying to let Ryan know what happened?

Trey looked nervous, jumpy, like he couldn't sit still. He looked—like he was on something. Maybe he was. Maybe he had been that night. Ryan would flip out if he found out. That made two things Ryan was going to flip out about.

For some reason, Marissa was fascinated with watching him. She enjoyed, no_ relished_, the thought of Trey being uptight about what he did. She hoped that he couldn't sleep and thought about it every minute of the day. Wait, ewww. That would make him seem kind of stalkerish.

From the distance, she could see a spot of red on his head. She figured that was from where she hit him with the stick. She remembered how the stick had felt in her hand. Really, it was driftwood, she guessed. Never before had she been thankful for the wood that the ocean washed up. Before it had always just been annoying and gave her splinters. That night, when she had seen it lying there, just inches from her reach, she had felt saved. It was as close to being saved as she could get. As she had held in her hand, she had felt its weight. It was heavy and she knew that it would get the job done.

There had always been times in her life when she needed that strength, that weight, to make her live. No, not just times—her whole life was based on that need for a pillar of strength. It had been Luke since fifth grade. Then, when things ended with Luke, it was Ryan. Ryan was the strongest yet and the best for support. There was no place better than being wrapped in his arms when she was feeling down. At that moment, when Trey had been grabbing her, the wood was the closest thing to Ryan and the strongest thing in sight.

_What are you doing?_

_Summer! Hey, I was ah, I was ah…waiting for you. Look, my car's like, completely out of gas, so could you give me a ride?_

_Sure, come on._

_The only thing is, I uh, I left a book inside. So, could you pick me up around back?_

_Yeah, whatever._

A part of her blamed Ryan for not being there. If he hadn't gone to Miami, she wouldn't have been alone with Trey, and he wouldn't have tried to rape her. She knew that if Ryan ever found out, he would blame himself as well. After he beat the living daylights out of Trey. True, a part of her wanted Ryan to feel the guilt. The vulnerable part (there were so many parts to her) wanted him to know so that he could comfort her and kiss her pain away. But another part, the good part of her, never wanted Ryan to find out. Ryan could never know.

Shaking her head, she went to meet Summer. Trey would just have to learn to keep his mouth shut and his feelings at bay. It had always worked for her.


	4. Confusing Two Brothers

**Summary: Kind of Marissa's POV during the scene where she is kissing Ryan and keeps imagining Trey.(In the Showdown)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing involved with the O.C. or its characters or the lines in italics. I do own the other parts, though!**

**A/N: WOW. It has been over a month since I last updated. I apologize to those few people who have been waiting (although I doubt there were any...) that I haven't updated. I was going to make up something about the part where Marissa goes shopping, but I realized that I didn't know enough about South Coast Plaza (even though I lived in Newport Beach for the first five years of my life). Below I wrote right after the episode aired. But I decided that I wanted to add things before it, so it has been sitting on my harddrive. And now I present it to you. Thank you to previous reviews--please keep them coming! Again, I apologize if the dialouge is confusing.**

_So listen, you've been a little…Is everything okay?_

She had forgotten how good it felt to know someone really cared about she felt. Or that someone knew her well enough to be able to tell when something was off. She didn't need to be weird around him.

_Why don't you tell me?_

That sounded like her usual self, right? Why had she been afraid to kiss him earlier? His lips matched hers perfectly. Unlike Trey's. Ahh, that's why she had been afraid. But everything was fine, as long as she didn't think about him.

Ryan rolled over and was on top now. Of course, he always liked to be the one on top.

She did a double-take. It wasn't Ryan on top of her, it was Trey. Her pulse quickened as Trey slowly morphed into Ryan again. She recognized that look on his face, the look that he knew something wasn't right. She couldn't have that now, could she? Ryan had to believe that nothing happened. God only knows what he would do if he ever found out. Although, Marissa had a pretty good idea. She pulled him down to her again and faked a smile.

That seemed to do the trick. Until Ryan's soft, passionate kisses turned into Trey's harsh, lustful ones. She was being suffocated. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? She pushed back at Trey, trying to get him off of her. It worked, but why was Ryan the one looking back at her confused?

Why was this happening? Ryan was nothing like Trey. Trey was nothing like Ryan. They didn't look the same, smell the same, kiss the same, feel the same. Why couldn't she keep the two apart? It wasn't fair to do that to Ryan. Poor Ryan; he looked so dumbfounded. Of course he couldn't comprehend the sudden change in Marissa. Kissing used to make the pain go away, not make it more persistent.

_Hey…_

As always was the case, one word from Ryan meant a thousand others. What's going on with you? Is everything okay? I know everything isn't right, don't hide it. Please, just tell me. I'm trying my hardest here, what more can I do? God, she loved him. Ryan resumed his kisses. She could tell he really was trying.

Yeah, she could tell he was trying. Trying to get more out of her. Couldn't Trey understand it would never work between them? It was Ryan she was with, not Trey.

_No one's ever been this nice to me._

As Ryan turned into Trey again, her hands no longer found comfort in their spots on his shoulders. It was if she couldn't help it. Her hands were pushing back at Trey the way they had that night.

_Yeah cause you're Ryan's brother!_

_No, it is more than that._

All of a sudden Ryan was there looking somewhat puzzled. He smiled as his lips came back down to hers in an effort to console her.

_One night, no one needs to know._

The two brothers switched off between kissing her; Ryan softly and Trey roughly. The words flowed in and out of her head as did the sound of the ocean.

_Get off of me!_

As Trey came back down again, she began to struggle. No amount of her thrashing would get him off. He was holding her down, pinning her to the bed. Wait, Ryan would never do that. Ryan wasn't doing that. But then Trey was there again. And then Ryan. Finally, Trey was pressing her into him, whispering against her ear, his breath hot on her cheek.

_Nobody needs to know._

This was not going to happen again. She couldn't live through it again. She was going crazy. Marissa Cooper had finally flown her coop. The one person she always thought would be around to rescue her was now the one causing more agony. She pushed hard at Ryan/Trey and he easily fell off to the side.

_Whoa. Wait, what's wrong?_

Marissa got up and backed away from him.

_I'm sorry. I can't do this. I thought I could, but it's been too long, too much has happened._

_Okay, alright--I'm sorry.--Can we just…talk?_

She fled out of the place she had come to love and wondered what she going to do now; now that the love of her life was gone once again.


End file.
